i can't stand it nemore..

help~!! im goin crazy.. y is every1 goin 2 help?? y cant i go 2 help?? y dun i gt a chance 2 choose my own path?? y my mum like mc so much?? y do i hafta b apart wif my frens?? it's de same isnt it?? help n mc haf de same edu board.. it's juz de fees diff.. bt i registered.. i dun haf de courage 2 tell n argue wif my parents dat i wanna go 2 help.. dey juz wont listen.. dad dowana deal wif me nemore.. mum juz wont listen.. she ll onli scold me.. i cant discuss anythg wif her.. i dun gt de chance 2 do wat i like.. i dun feel like a 17+ year old gurl.. im nt treated as 1.. i dun tink college life will make a diff 2 my same old borin life.. my parents dun un me.. dey dun accept me.. dey dun trust me.. i cant stand it anymore.. i haf no whr 2 stand in my family.. my siblings dun treat me as deir eldest sis.. mum magnifies my errors.. nvr c de gud deeds i do.. y is it diff 2 b de eldest child.. it's nt fair.. frens say.. afte spm.. u wont b treated as a lil gurl nemore.. it's dat so?? it may b 4 u.. bt definitely nt me.. i din wanna complain abt life.. i wuz taught 2 b contented 4 wat i haf.. i dun seem 2 haf wat i wan.. i dunno y.. i nid counsellin.. everythg bad is juz happenin 2 me.. im goin 2 b apart fr moo.. nt goin 2 c him touch him feel him hug him kiss him.. im nt goin 2 c my frens nemore.. im goin 2 a college whr i dun feel like goin.. im goin 2 haf a lonely life.. i tried 2 b positive.. i alwiz do.. bt i juz cant help it..i had been tearin almos everyday.. i tink if i dun drink enuf water... i will b dehydrated soon.. sry moo... i reli cant help it.. i noe tearin wont do any gud.. bt tears juz flowed out by itself everytime i tink of dem.. i tried 2 make myself happy.. bt i cant.. im nt capable of.. i tried 2 appreciate wat i haf.. i did.. bt i juz cant stand it.. when thgs doesnt go as i hope it wud.. im very down now.. wheneva i face probs.. i alwiz tink.. y am i saddenin myself.. i hafta face de music anyway.. no point tearin n makin every1 mad.. bt dis time.. i cant control myself.. i dunno y am i saddin 2.. izit reli bcuz i dun gt wat i wan??

im confused..

hope everything will flow off wif de tears...